Now that it’s July, it’s probably pretty obvious that I have returned to the U.S.

Before I continue: don’t worry, I’m going to finish my travel blogging. I want to hold on tight to the memories I made and the knowledge I gained while overseas, and Sueñitos Naranjas was made for just that. I do also plan on creating fun posts about my top ten’s, European fashion, Spanish phrases/words I learned, and more. However, after experiencing so many emotions and reflecting on this insane adventure, I want to pause to share some candid thoughts and feelings about my return. This post is dedicated strictly to reverse culture shock, and everything it has entailed for me.

It’s been a tough transition. While noticing little differences like road signs, meal times, restaurant/bus etiquette, etc. wore off after a couple of weeks, a weird sense of confusion has lingered with me. I have fought with the reality of post-abroad life and returning to my normal routine at home. I knew I was going to love living in Europe (despite its challenges, which I unquestionably felt too), but I didn’t realize I would feel like I left such a large piece of myself in Spain. I love that part of my heart lies in Sevilla and the cities to which I traveled, however that also means I don’t quite feel complete in Wisconsin anymore. Not a day goes by without me thinking about my life in Europe.

Don’t get me wrong, I am so glad to be with my family and friends again, but living abroad brought me a joy unlike any other. When places like Europe exist, I struggle with the idea of staying put in Wisconsin (or America) my whole life. The world outside of America is so different, so intriguing, so beautiful. How can I ignore that? If Europe was that cool, what does the rest of the world have in store? Not to mention, I fell in love with the European lifestyle. Life is meant to be lived—why should someone pour every ounce of their time and energy into a career and seemingly skip out on the experiences that truly make someone happy? Deep down, I know I long for a way of living and a culture that isn’t quite like the one here.

It’s also been hard to find a new spark. I’ve dreamed of studying abroad for years and now that it’s over, there’s this weird void of “what’s next?” Without a doubt, studying abroad in Spain was my longest-held goal (as I mentioned in my first post, this dream started when I was in middle school). Nothing else has sized up to this goal, and now I’ve just, achieved it? Just like that? It happened, and it’s over? What am I supposed to strive for next? How do I fill this gigantic life-changing-experience-sized void?

I’ve been at a loss for words. I promise, I am still happy, but this all is mighty confusing! I thought I knew what I wanted in life and these couple months abroad have thrown each existing plan into a blender with some new perspectives, passions, and dreams and poured about 80 different ‘life-smoothies’ into separate glasses. What ‘life-smoothie’ am I supposed to pick? Or am I supposed to throw some of these smoothies back into the blender to make a jumbo, combination ‘life-smoothie?’ What’s the point of all this smoothie business anyways? (Sorry for the extended smoothie metaphor, I’m hungry).

While I try to figure out the possibility of living in Europe again in the future, I know I am undeniably anxious to keep traveling. The people and the places of the world amaze me, and I will stop at nothing to continue exploring the globe (all seven continents, remember?). Even as I write this, I am continuing to wrap my head around this transformational experience. For me, the first step in understanding and appreciating that is continuing with these blog posts.

These blog posts make me happy and I’m back to do them their long-winded, super-detailed justice. Sueñitos Naranjas should be getting lots of love soon, and after I’ve told the stories I’ve wanted to tell, I’m thinking I’ll be back with tips and tricks or whatever my heart dreams up to keep this passion alive.

This has been a wacky ride, but I loved it and I still do. This confusion—no matter how confusing (haha)—stems from the best place possible. At the end of the day, I loved my study abroad experience and I am so grateful for the opportunity.

I seriously have no idea what’s next for me in life or travel or anything, but I’m excited. I’m ready. Living in Spain taught me I can take on whatever is handed to me—even this vast uncertainty.

Your move, life. I really hope experiences like this—that set my soul on fire—are in my future. If I’m lucky, that will mean lots and lots of travel. 🙂

July, 2022 – Two months post-study abroad